Time again for annual New Year’s predictions. Here are a few you can be sure won’t come true in 2016:
●Due to disappointing box-office sales, “Star Wars: The Force Awakens” will be the final film in the series.
●America will “degrade and destroy ISIS” — just as President Obama promised. (Russian strongman Vladimir Putin will provide critical help in America’s victory.)
●If you like your health plan .?.?.
●Steve Harvey will be selected to announce all the Academy Awards this year.
●Hillary Clinton will go the whole year without being caught in a lie.
●Hillary Clinton will go a whole week without being caught in a lie.
●Hillary Clinton will go a day without being caught in a lie.
●Democrats will hold Hillary Clinton accountable for her lies.
●The NFL’s Odell Beckham Jr. and Josh Nash will co-lead a seminar on conflict resolution.
●Thanks to Washington’s overtures, Cuba will become a full-fledged capitalist democracy.
●De Blasio will find a way to keep the homeless off the streets and stop bums from using them as a public bathroom.
●Quentin Tarantino will lead a rally to honor the sacrifices cops make to protect Americans.
●With Republicans holding both houses of Congress, America’s national debt will decline sharply.
●In the wake of the criminal convictions of the top two leaders of the state Legislature — Shelly Silver and Dean Skelos — Albany will clean up its act, once and for all.
●After receiving a $150 billion payment from Washington and having sanctions lifted, Iran will abandon its quest for nukes.
●New York Schools Chancellor Carmen Fari?a will raise standards in public schools — and the schools will make sure students meet them.
●After Twitter and Facebook fold for lack of use, no one will remember what they were.
●In the wake of the Paris climate agreement, China, India and all the developing nations will make drastic cuts in carbon emissions — thus ending the threat of global warming.
●Universities will once again be places of free debate and unfettered inquiry, instead of safe spaces and leftist indoctrination.
●Sepp Blatter will retain control of FIFA — and manage to restore its image.
●The Arab world will embrace democracy and peaceful co-existence.
●Secretary of State John Kerry will use unequivocal terms to condemn Palestinian attacks on innocent Israelis — and really mean it.
●Thanks to de Blasio, income inequality will vanish from the face of the earth.
●Caitlyn Jenner will become the world’s leading psychotherapist.
●Donald Trump will present a detailed and compelling plan to “make America great again.”
●Nancy Pelosi, Barbara Boxer, Chuck Schumer and Michael Bloomberg will become NRA-certified pistol instructors.
●Hillary Clinton’s campaign will come up with some reason why Americans should vote for her, other than that she’s a woman.
●Reduced state taxes and saner business regulation will lead to new investment in Upstate New York — producing thousands of new jobs.
●As a result of all the new jobs, more people will move to Upstate New York than leave it, reversing a years-long trend.
●ISIS leader Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi will convert to Judaism.
●Teachers union boss Mike Mulgrew will apologize for “gumming up the works” and agree to let schools fire teachers who can’t teach.
●New York politicians will realize the best way to push up worker salaries is to create jobs — and boost demand for workers.
●In order to be on the “right side of history,” Putin will withdraw from the Ukrainian region, return Crimea — and even give back Patriots owner Robert Kraft’s Super Bowl ring.
●Columnists will give up predicting the future.
Happy New Year!