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Let her? Army wife claims Mel Robbins stole her idea for blockbuster self-help book
Let who?
Since it was published at the very end of 2024, Mel Robbins’ “The Let Them Theory: A Life-Changing Tool That Millions of People Can’t Stop Talking About,” has been a cultural sensation that’s topped bestseller lists.
Now, a Virginia Army wife is claiming that it was her — not Robbins — who came up with the “Let Them” philosophy the blockbuster book centers around.
The self-improvement tome — which encourages readers to stop worrying about what other people do and think and just focus on what they can control — has been declared one of the best books of the year. According to Robbins’ publicist, it’s sold more than two million copies in print and audio versions, and it’s made Robbins, who also has a No. 1 podcast and reportedly commands six figure sums for speaking engagements, a household name.
But, Cassie Phillips, a 32-year-old mother-of-two, has noted that in 2022, she wrote and shared a poem titled “Let Them” on Facebook, along with a picture of a tattoo on her forearm with the phrase.
With relatable lines such as,”If they are showing you who they are and not what you perceived them to be, LET THEM,” the poem took off, and, according to Phillips, was shared more than 50,000 times, with thousands of additional posts inspired by it.
“It went viral,” Phillips told The Post. At the time, she was dealing with emotional challenges and marital issues. Her husband had just returned from duty in the Middle East and was struggling with PTSD and drinking.
“I had been experiencing such bad depression that I got to be suicidal. But saying ‘Let them’ [during stressful situations] gave me hope and saved my life,” Phillips said. “People started reaching out and telling me that it changed their lives.”
She believes Robbins’ work is suspiciously similar to her own.
Her poem reads, “If they want to choose something or someone over you, LET THEM … let them show you who they truly are, not tell you.”
In her book, Robbins, a former lawyer and CNN legal analyst, advises readers to “let people be who they are, or feel what they feel, or think what they think.”
Robbins told The Post that she’s never read Phillips’ poem and that her writing isn’t inspired by it.
“[My] book is not about two words, I built an entire theory citing the work of over 50 world-renowned experts and turned it into a tool to help you improve your life,” she said. “I couldn’t be more proud at how it’s resonating and I hope that its success can only help everyone it’s reaching.”
At the beginning of her book, Robbins writes that the theory came to her when she realized she was micromanaging her teenage son, Oakley, on the his prom night in 2023. She fretted that he didn’t have a corsage for his date and that his group didn’t have a dinner reservation in the pouring rain.
Her daughter intervened, and told her, “Mom, if Oakley and his friends want to go to a taco bar for pre-prom, LET THEM … It’s their prom. Not yours. Just drop it.”
She forced herself to chill out, handed her kid 40 bucks for tacos and told him to have an “awesome” time.
“Little did I know, that one moment would fundamentally change my entire approach to life,” she writes.
But Phillips claimed to The Post that she believes “there’s inconsistency” with Robbins’ origin story.
She noted that Robbins posted a video to social media on May 13, 2023 — prior to the prom, Phillips asserted — saying “I just heard about this thing called the ‘Let Them Theory.’ I frickin’ love this. If your friends are not inviting you out to brunch this weekend, let them. If the person that you’re really attracted to is not interested in the commitment, let them.”
When asked about the timeline allegations, Robbins reiterated, “People can obsess over any detail, but the facts are simple: I have not seen her poem, I have not read her poem, and it was not and will never be the source of inspiration for my book. This is nonsense. I have spent 10 years shining a light on other people’s work, so the allegation that I would steal someone else’s work is ridiculous. As I write in ‘The Let Them Theory,’ you cannot control what people say, do, feel, or choose to make up about you. People can say anything about you – at school, at work, on the internet – and you can’t control it. Let Them.”
For all the back and forth, Phillips acknowledged that the beloved line did not originate with her. She said she was actually inspired by Tyler Perry’s popular Madea character, who appears in numerous films and stage plays.
“[Madea] says, ‘If somebody wants to walk out of your life, let them go.’ It was a trending sound on TikTok,” Phillips explained.
Indeed, “let them” is a phrase employed by many. On Etsy, numerous sellers offer merch emblazoned with the phrase — from beaded bracelets to sweatshirts festooned with hearts — in fonts and designs entirely distinct from Robbins’ book cover.
On July 11, 2024, Robbins filed to trademark the phrase “Let Them” for use on dozens of items, from laptop cases to downloadable journals, with the US Patent and Trademark Office.
In November 2024, the office responded with a “non-final action” noting that the registration was refused because “let them” is a “commonplace term, message, or expression widely used by a variety of sources that merely conveys an ordinary, familiar, well-recognized concept or sentiment.”
The action noted that it had received a “letter of protest” regarding Robbins’ application and that there were “let them” items for sale online on various websites. Robbins was given three months to respond to the action, and, last month, her team filed for an extension to respond.
Phillips acknowledged that the spat is “a David and Goliath situation,” but she just wishes Robbins would have handled the situation differently.
“It just comes out as a very inauthentic way of coming up with something. Had she given me credit, that would have also given me a hand up,” she said. “People would have found my art along the way.”
