Entertainment

THE EXHIBITIONIST

SURE, New York’s museums want you to see their big blockbuster shows like “The Art of the Motorcycle” (1998) with big, bad hogs parked up and down the ramps of the Guggenheim. That’s all fine and good, but what about the permanent collections? It can be hardt to tell what’s worth seeing – and what’s not.

It’s a shame that the major museums rarely advertise real-life things, like their permanent collections (the stuff they own outright and show all year long), how decent their coffee is, or how much their admission really costs.

Folks would go every week if they knew that a whole day of art can sometimes be a lot cheaper than a movie.

Here’s a quick rundown of the major players in N.Y.C., and our quick prescription for how to use ’em. Repeat as necessary.

The METROPOLITAN

MUSEUM OF ART

1000 Fifth Ave.; (212) 535-7710, metmuseum.org

How much you’ll (really) pay: They say “recommended” admission for adults is $20. Translation: pay what you wish.

A buck? A fiver? Ten cents? Don’t let the guy at the cash register intimidate you. Fork it over and move along, ignoring the whispers of “Nice going, ya cheapskate!” behind your back.

Why we go: This is THE museum of the fine arts in New York, a cultural wonder worth traveling thousands of miles to see (and as the crowd of tourists prove, many do just that.)

Perennials: Old Faithfuls include a newly refurbished

sunlit atrium full of ancient Greek sculpture (plus a real chariot on the mezzanine!); the Temple

of Dendur (an entire ancient Egyptian temple reconstructed above a reflecting pool);

European paintings by crowd-pleasers like van Gogh, Renoir, Degas . . . plus plenty of altarpieces, armor and portraits. Feeling a bit tired after all this? That’s the Met for you.

What’s for lunch?: There

are lots of spots to take food breaks. The coffee (about

$2) is decent. Sorta. Better

to blow some bucks on high tea

in the sunny Petrie Court and look out on Central Park.

The BROOKLYN MUSEUM

200 Eastern Parkway,

(718) 638-5000;

brooklynmuseum.org

How much you’ll (really) pay: Again, the cost – in this case $8 for adults – is “suggested.” You know what to do. Free at night on the first Saturday of each month.

Why we go: This is the road-less-traveled museum. Though it’s an august institution and almost as big as the Met, it’s usually free of tourist hordes.

Perennials: Their fifth-floor American art collection almost puts the Whitney to shame, though it’s arranged in a curatorially trendy (read: meshuggeneh) mix of styles and times. We suggest sitting on the fifth floor, on of

the many cozy chairs they provide, and regarding, say, Louis Remy Mignot’s painting of Niagara

Falls. The Egyptian collection is world-class.

What’s for lunch?: The truly decent cafeteria won’t gouge

you on price ($6.50 for a soup ‘n’ sandwich deal). Coffee is Starbucks in urns (’nuff said: it works). And the food is made hot on the premises every day.

The Guggenheim

1071 Fifth Ave.; (212) 423-3500, guggenheim.org

How much you’ll (really) pay: $18 for adults, no haggling (we’ve tried.) Free for about two hours Friday nights.

Why we go: The architecture, natch. That unique, visionary spiral by Frank Lloyd Wright. The only problem is, nine times out of 10 it upstages the art on display. Still, we keep coming back. It’s a world power that attracts masterpieces, on loan from other museums across the world, like a magnet.

Perennials: A Pissarro landscape of the French countryside you just want to walk right into. There are also amazing Picassos – all angles and insight – and funny abstract films in the basement.

What’s for lunch?: Nothing special. Trust us.

Short List

The Whitney Museum of American Art

945 Madison Ave.;

800-WHITNEY, whitney.org

As its name suggests, the Whitney specializes in American art and trendy contemporary art. Go to the fifth floor for the “Ashcan School” paintings, including the great John Sloan of a kitty cat tiptoeing through the snow – plus some really racy pieces by Paul Cadmus. The café is Sarabeth’s – a little precious, but if you like brunch, this is the place for you.

The Museum of

Modern Art

11 W. 53rd St.;

(212) 708-9400, moma.org

A rather hefty admission price

of $20 will keep you in more abstract art, gelato and design than you can shake a stick at. Be sure to go for a stroll in the garden.

The Jewish Museum

1109 Fifth Ave., (212) 423-3200, jewishmuseum.org

There’s often contempo art of general interest here, but we’re especially fond of the Sabbath room, a peaceful octagonal space where they play traditional melodies and you

can look out the window at the trees. (The café is kosher, so only nondairy creamer in the coffee for you!)

EVERY serious art-goer knows you must never EVER underestimate the power of a good cup of joe. Drink one, and you’re ready to face even the most difficult cultural challenges (“Now I see how all those squiggly lines are really full of energy, poetry and grace!” Or, “Gosh, this Picasso makes sense.”) But can you get your caffeine fix in a museum?

As it turns out, yes. The folks at MoMA really caught on when they redesigned their digs back in 2005. They hired a big architect to do the building, and a big restaurateur, Danny Meyer, to design their coffee: “MoMA blend” (not available in stores). LaColombe, the Philly-based coffee company that puts out the exclusive brew, has some aesthetic points to make here, so take notes: Look for a “chocolate tone,” zero bitterness and a “soft and velvety” feel on the palate. Supposedly, it’s so naturally sweet, you may not need sugar . . . but you be the judge. In art, taste is personal. $2, with free refills.

Pssst: Bags of the MoMA blend are on sale only in the second floor cafe. $11.95.

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