In a corporate world in which hierarchy reigns, assistants are often seen as low on the totem pole. After all, we’re mere subordinates who arrange travel, take messages, order binder clips and do 101 other tasks the people in charge don’t want to do.
But while it may be tempting to dismiss us, power trippers inclined to ignore, belittle or berate assistants take heed – staying on our good side can work in your favor. As the ones who screen calls, prioritize messages, green-light meetings and shoot the breeze with the head honchos daily, we hold a good deal of power in our fast-typing hands. Having us in your corner can be the difference between a fast track to the boss’ ear and a long, cold wait in Back Burnerville.
Consider an executive who barely reads her own e-mail (yes, this still exists). Who decides what she should read and in what order? Her right-hand helper, of course — usually by using some intuitive algorithm of seniority, urgency and, then, how much he or she likes you. We can become your ally, putting in a good word or lobbying to squeeze you in an unexpected 15-minute scheduling window. On the flip side, that helping hand may retreat in the face of disrespect.
“I pass along the quick messages right away,” says Megan, an assistant to a publishing executive. “But if they ask intrusive questions – like, ‘Is he traveling? Where? Did he leave yesterday? Is he back tomorrow?’ – I’m annoyed, and it may take longer to relay that message.”
Julie, who supports a team of lawyers at a Manhattan firm, expresses a similar sentiment.
“It’s all in how people ask for things. I’ve got no problem when people use please and thank-yous. But if they’re pushy or rude, I’ll take their request and put it at the bottom of my pile.”
So how to ensure you get into – and don’t fall out of – an assistant’s good graces? Consider the following list of do’s and don’ts, compiled from my own experience as well as a poll of several people in supporting roles around Manhattan.
Do: Cube stop-bys. Not in a creepy “How’s your love life?” way, in a nice “I consider you a worthwhile conversational partner” way. Say hello, see how we’ve been, tell a joke. Disclaimer: Don’t attempt this while we’re on the phone, creating Microsoft Excel formulas, or trying to work out a “T&E Existing Policy Matrix.” Signs like squinting, hand kneading, brow furrowing or lip biting on our part will let you know it’s not a great time to chat.
Don’t: Give bad phone: Example: Brusquely saying things like “Is he in?” or “Where’s the man?” without saying who you are. It’s an assistant’s job to screen calls, not to pass them along just because the phone rang. We’re gatekeepers, designed to filter out the riffraff and facilitate the important. The more you try to bypass us, the less we’re inclined to let you through. So start by introducing yourself.
Other examples of bad phone: calling numerous times without leaving a message or asking “Can you repeat that?” after you give us the same office number you’ve had for the past three years. It’s OK. We have it saved in the machine.
Do: Let us reply to you. Please allow an appropriate amount of time for this. We’ll do it when we have a free minute, we promise. Unless it’s a matter of national security, avoid calling about e-mails you sent three minutes ago. You’re now clogging our ears and our in-boxes.
If patience isn’t your strong suit, stop for a moment to assess: Have we had time to read your e-mail yet? Have we also had time to prioritize it among the financial results presentation, the on-hold call from someone with “global head” in his title, and the two people loitering outside our boss’ office that we’re handling just now? If not, please, wait for our reply. We’ll love you for your patience.
Don’t: Cop a ‘tude. ‘Tude coppage is not advised. Not when a meeting is delayed, when a call has yet to be returned, when voicemail is desired instead of a live voice (even though we’re the ones who check voicemail anyway) or when someone we assist is late. In these situations, it’s best to keep an even, friendly tone, one that conveys understanding that certain events, like flight delays and unscheduled bathroom visits, are beyond our control.
Don’t: Provide unnecessary information: An assistant’s job is to get many things done — quickly. Unless it’s a slow Friday, this leaves little time for details immaterial to the task at hand. If you need a lunch meeting with our boss, the best thing to do is say when and where. That’s it. Stories about the scallops you ate last time, how your colleague Bob may join you if he doesn’t leave early for his fly-fishing trip in Banff, or how you’re pulling into a gas station as we speak and can’t believe the gas prices – these are counterproductive. More talking = less action. Or, in the words of one multi-tasker, “I have 62 things to do. I don’t care. I just need to know the facts of what you need.”
Do: Respect our intelligence: Keep in mind that person who’s “just an assistant” may be there for a reason other than what you imagine — to pay off debts, pursue a career in the arts, work their way through grad school or use it as an entry point to an eventual corner office. Perhaps he or she may just want to make a decent living without the stress of bringing work home. Pretty smart, if you think about it.
Do: Show appreciation: Assistants spend their workdays tending to others’ needs. If not for them, who would create file folders, do expense reports and replenish Retractable Gel Roller Ball pens? No office would survive without this logistical glue. So say thank you. The occasional “Who’s better than you?” doesn’t hurt, either. And if you really want to go the extra mile, flowers or wine could ensure that you never get stuck on hold again.