Love her or hate her, Lady Gaga has shown us the countless ways she is willing to shock, suffer and bewilder for her art. But with her new video, “Bad Romance,” she may have outdone herself, offering a visually stunning but puzzling metaphor for the abandon of unbridled sexual congress.
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And follow our moment-to-moment guide:
0:10 Gaga turns up the volume on her Parrot by Starck sound system. Weirdly, her fingernails are covered by thin strips of metal mesh. Is this the manicurist’s equivalent of putting plastic covers on the good sofa?
0:29 At the “Bath Haus of Gaga,” an array of giant sleep pods house the Lady and her dancers, giving “Altered States” a whole new meaning.
0:33 Gaga and crew emerge in full-body white leather outfits, including pointy, eye-covering masks. Clearly, Gaga’s been having nightmares where insects mate with Beaker from “The Muppet Show.”
0:48 The introduction of the creepy, Margaret Keane “big eye” effect. Yes, this makes us believe that she is just another innocent waif, waiting to be despoiled.
1:52 Gaga’s yanked from her tub and forced to drink something from a champagne glass. Something tells us she’s not really the type who’s ever “forced” to do anything.
2:32 Writhing on the floor in a jewel-encrusted bikini — she’s finally in her natural state.
2:38 We glimpse the Man with the Golden Jaw. Insert inappropriate “sore jaw” reference here.
2:42 Our first peep at Gaga’s hairless, wrinkly, sharped-tooth cat, likely a close relative of Mr. Bigglesworth. Hmm, a shaved cat. What could that possibly represent?
3:03 Gaga spins in suspended animation, surrounded by massive floating jewels, finally making her Zsa Zsa Gabor influence public.
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:44 The key feature of her flowing white gown: a train fashioned from a polar bear hide. Because Gaga always wears what she kills.
4:40 Half of Gaga ignites in flame as her libido — and ego — reaches its peak moment.
4:58 Final shot: Gaga smoking in bed, sparks shooting from her chest. Her bedmate lies in a charred heap beside her. Just another night at Gaga’s crib.