In life, he was the King of Pop. In death, Michael Jackson is being made into a mere sideshow, and this demeaning process continued on Sunday night at the 2014 Billboard Awards in Las Vegas.
Fresh from the release of “Xscape” (an unimpressive collection of spruced-up demos from the singer’s vaults), Jackson was resurrected in the shape of an unconvincing and creepy hologram to perform a version of “Slave To The Rhythm.” Technology has made these things possible, but just because we can doesn’t mean we should.
The performance was a literal facsimile of Jackson’s onstage prowess; the choreography was slack, the song was second-rate and the overall effect of this low-rent, Cirque Du Soleil-style stunt was to cheapen the life of one of the greatest entertainers who ever lived. The only things missing from this disgusting display of grave-robbing were shovels and flashlights.
Much of the three-hour show barely registered on the excitement scale, but there were occasional thrills and points of interest. Rising Aussie rapper Iggy Azalea sassed up the stage not once but twice, performing her duet “Fancy” with Charli XCX before guesting on Ariana Grande’s current hit “Problem.” Her brash personality and tongue-in-cheek raps don’t always hit the right notes, but it was just what the Billboard Awards needed early on. Carrie Underwood and Miranda Lambert also fired up proceedings with their hard-rocking duet “Something Bad” and easily overshadowed all the other mild country fare offered up on the night.
Despite being embroiled in a copyright infringement case with Marvin Gaye’s estate last year, Robin Thicke again seemed to pillage his hero’s back-catalogue with his new R&B ballad “Get Her Back.” The lyrical inspiration could not have been more obvious if he had called the song “This Is About My Divorce From Paula Patton.” As expected, Miley Cyrus figured out another way to annoy more people by covering “Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds” with Wayne Coyne and Steve Drozd from the alternative-rock band Flaming Lips. Dull Beatles purists can whine all they want, but this confetti-blasted version managed to be even more trippy and drug-addled than the original. Quite an achievement.
Sub-par performances were turned in by OneRepublic, Shakira and John Legend, whose medley of “All Of Me” and “You And I (Nobody In The World)” was sappy enough to trigger dry heaving. But the Turkey Of The Night award goes to soccer. The World Cup is due to start in Brazil next month, and that means the usual onslaught of really bad soccer-inspired songs. At the Billboard Awards, we were serenaded with two generic blasts of samba beats. One was from ever-horrendous Pitbull and Icon Award winner Jennifer Lopez and called “We Are One.” The other was Ricky Martin’s “Vida,” which essentially sounded like an extended and tuneless crowd chant. Let’s just leave soccer to be soccer, and music to be music. They don’t need to meet. Ever.