Former WWE women’s champion Paige was at “rock bottom” and was not sure she wanted to be alive anymore after nude photos and video of her leaked online in 2017.
Paige, who now goes by her given name Saraya, joined Renee Paquette on her podcast entitled “The Sessions” on The Volume, and opened up about the harrowing time in her life.
“I was in San Antonio and it was just the most awful moment of my life,” Saraya said.
“The person that I was with at the time showed me a picture on Twitter. I was just like ‘Oh my God.’ I was like, ‘Is that real?’ because I couldn’t believe it was real at first. I was f—ing 19 years old, and I was completely f—ing mortified. I ran out of the house. I ran. I just kept f—ing running.”
She explained that she hid in a bush for fear that other people would recognize her, and revealed that this moment came during a time where she was battling substance abuse issues with cocaine and alcohol use.
“I was [hiding] inside a f—ing bush, thinking that if people recognize me they’re gonna know,” Saraya said. “I’d never wish that upon anyone, because that’s the most vulnerable part of you. I felt so stupid to have trusted this person at the time. I’ve never done it since. That was a f—ing lesson, I’ve learned, and I’ll never be caught dead doing it again.
“I felt so f—ing stupid, and so embarrassed, and was I already like a f—ing coke head at this time, and loved to drink, and that really f—ing got me to rock bottom where I didn’t really want to be alive anymore, dude. It was f—ing awful. I just was so f—ing sad. I remember being like, ‘if my dad is disappointed with me, I don’t think I could be here anymore.'”
She called her father from inside the bush and said that she was “so sorry.” His response talked her off the proverbial ledge.
“Well, what are you sorry for? Who cares?” he asked her. “You had sex. Everyone’s done it. Unfortunately you’re just in the public eye. It is what it is. You’ve got to suck it up. It’s gonna hurt for a little bit. People are gonna make fun of you forever. I just want you to know that I’m still proud of you and I’m not disappointed.”
Saraya said that this “instantly changed” the way she was feeling. She called her brother, who had a similar reaction. Ultimately, she came to the conclusion: “Well, if my family are OK with me then I’m gonna be OK.”